Reflections

I've been reflecting a lot lately.  This is what happens at the end of another year.

This could have been a very discouraging year.

When you only have one chance to try and have another baby and it doesn't work...not a good thing.

When we've been unsuccessful before I've been devastated.  I sink into depression...I withdraw into myself...I disappear.

But this year...

Even with our lack of success, I'm still here...even in the darkness of Alaska.

I'm here in this wonderful life I love.

We are so blessed with the two incredible miracles we have...how can I not love my life?

How can I disappear when I see these blessings in front of me every day?

It's impossible to disappear when my arms are literally so full of love and blessings.


So...while I could easily be grateful this year is ending because of a prayer seemingly unanswered...

I'm sitting here reflecting in an attitude of gratitude.

What a wonderful year of so many answered blessings...and blessings un-asked for, but generously and lovingly given.

Tender Mercies

I am amazed how aware of me my Heavenly Father is.

I'm aware of this because of the tender mercies He sends me every day...in the form of lots of small, and a couple of very large, miracles.

We have two wonderful amazing miracles in our home...and for that we will forever be grateful...so grateful.

Along with these two miracles, I have been given another smaller, but no less insignificant, miracle in my life.

It's the miracle of Peace.

Peace in my heart.

Peace in my soul.

Peace Heavenly Father knows me, know my heart, knows my desire of having another baby, knows of my tears and my prayers.  He knows me.

And...because He knows me, He has given me Peace.

Peace doesn't mean I don't still desire and ache and even cry...but...

Peace does mean I have hope.  I have comfort.  I have gratitude...and my heart is filled with love.

I'm grateful for this very tender mercy of Peace.