Light...

In the form of a 15 month old who makes me smile.

Every.
Single.
Day.

In the form of a husband who loves me.

Every.
Single.
Day.

There is light.
I can see it.
I can feel it.

They are my family.

I am grateful for them.

Every.
Single.
Day.

Slipping

Down that stupid slide of depression.

Just when you think you have a handle on it and life is looking so much better, stupid emotions and expectations make you lose your grip.

I hate being a stupid girl sometimes.

I hate the expectations I create in my stupid girly head. Because when they aren't met all these stupid feelings; anger, frustration, sadness, and self-pity, consume me.

It's all stupid, and I know it in my stupid girl thoughts.

But I continue to slip and slide down this stupid slide of depression.

I think I need some "Prozac"

...maybe this weekend when I'm by myself for my 5th anniversary...b/c I am a coaches wife.

Ick...I hate being a girl.

Starving

For a baby, that is.

I thought I was starving for a baby with our first. But I was just hungry...not starving.

Sometimes I feel I shall shrivel up and die from starvation.

Ok...maybe a little dramatic.

It doesn't help ALL of my friends have new babies. Not an exaggeration. ALL of them do.

I'm not sure if we didn't succeed, just so we would truly appreciate the one miracle we have...or to make us really work and want the next.

Either way...it's working.

Because, I'm starving.